Ready to throw up yet?

Are you nervous? I am. In a little more than an hour election results are going to start appearing on every news channel on television– probably around the world. By tomorrow we will either have our first (half) black president or our first female vice president. Maybe we will, anyway. It all depends on if we’ve got a landslide on our hands, a tie or a photo finish.

I’ve been trying to avoid the news today but couldn’t take it any longer and have MSNBC in my face now. One of the many reasons I have been avoiding the news is because it makes me want to cry. We’ve got goofy ballot issues, we’ve bigot issues, we’ve got long lines and rain. Mostly, we’ve got hours– maybe days– to go until we know what the hell is going on, what we– as a nation– have decided to do, who we have decided will lead us out of the giant pile of steaming shit we’ve crawled into over the past eight years.

I’m sad for Obama. His grandmother’s death makes me think about my aging grandparents, in-laws, great aunts and uncles. They are all, as things go, McCain’s age or older and they are all dying off. They’ve all lived good lives, better than most, and it’s going to break my heart when each of them leave us. I can only imagine how Obama feels and hope he is finding time to sit with his thoughts and feelings, if that’s even possible on a day like today.

And, for some reason, life insists on moving foward. Three tests this week, final projects pushing their thick thumbs into my shoulder, classes, bills, deadlines, litter boxes, dishes… stuff. Oh, and some ass destroyed my Obama/ Biden sign in the front yard. (Yes, I made a police report.) All of this stuff needs attention when all I want to do is stare at the television and wait for our future to be decided by a bunch of people I don’t know and then be analyzed by a bunch of other people who appear in my living room every time I choose their channel.

I’ll be up all night studying and staring, hoping and wishing… and trying not to toss my cookies, though I might have already lost my mind– I just saw a Fox News commercial on MSNBC.